The doctor stands out in the hall, whispering in a hushed tone, but I can still hear him loud and clear, "Hopeless case. I'm sorry there is no treatment for a case this bad. This only thing we can do is to warn people to stay away."
My disease is a common one, a painful one, one that involves long battles of decreasing self worth, long nights of sobbing into a pillow, long hours of sitting alone feeling like I just swallowed a bucket of nails.
My disease is the Chronic Loser Disease.
Why am I writing this? Well I think I'll explode if I don't get all this out, and because I'm sick of crying into my pillow. A sopping wet pillow doesn't do anyone any good.
Right now I feel like I've been stabbed in the heart, ever felt this way? A pain in your heart so strong, so real, that burns and aches, caused by the cruelty of another person? Or persons?
Hi, I am the invisible person.
Although sometimes I'm the wall, or a desk, or a very decorative garbage can.
People can see right through me, past me. Sometimes they don't even notice the fact that I'm even there.
Being invisible sucks.
Have you noticed that there seems to be at least one invisible person in every class? The person who sits alone, head low, eyes downcast, refusing to look up. The person who nobody wants to know because this person has the "I am a LOSER!!! My loser disease is very contagious! Avoid me at ALL possible costs!!!" warning sign that the person can't see pinned to their back.
The person who WISHES that they truly were invisible.
I wish that I wasn't talking from personal experience.
Loser out.
Pride's Sun Salutation
Tayla, I'm impressed with your honesty. I felt exactly that way through a lot of elementary on up through high school. I just never would have had the guts to admit it to anyone else at the time. I know that during all the hard times the last thing you want is for someone like me to tell you it's not a big deal--because it IS a big deal. But I can tell you that one day you'll look back and you'll be proud of yourself for getting through it. Because your life is going to get better. You have some amazing times and experiences ahead of you.
ReplyDeleteThat doesn't take away the hard things today, but hang in there.